Balancing Being a Parent and Being A Provider

What's YOUR story? Redleaf Press has asked me to work on a book about the struggles and triumphs of balancing being a parent and being a provider for family child care providers. Having raised two daughters in my daycare, I experienced two extremes. My oldest was so thrilled to be a part of the group that she actually got upset with me whenever I DID try to find special time for her. My youngest was always so jealous of the attention I gave other children that she was forever hanging on me begging for attention, no matter how much special time I made for her!

I'm sure many of you have had your ups and downs with this as well! I'd love to hear your stories and include them in the book. I'd like to get a discussion going here, providers sharing ideas and problems and everyone putting their heads together to find solutions.

I've been trying to do research for this and it's hard to come by - that tells me that it's sorely needed information and makes me really want to get help to providers looking for it.

I look forward to hearing all your comments!

WARNING: Bumo Infant Seat: "The Babysitter"

I received the info below from one of my newsletter recipients, Heather. I had a brief article about these new infant seats called "The Babysitter." They are extremely developmentally inappropriate for infants - tell your daycare parents!

babies r us/toys are us are not the only places carrying those "babysitter" things -
http://www.toysrus.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=2534416&cp=2255975
but the scary things is readying all the reviews--i did not see one negative things about them. there are ones on there saying they are used in day cares too...
they also have them at target too
http://www.target.com/gp/search.html/601-3074659-1751305?field-keywords=bumbo&url=index%3Dtarget&ref=sr_bx_1_1
just thought you might want to see these!
heather

Back Where I Started

Well, the countdown begins! I have three weeks left at Patty Cake Preschool. But this week, instead of getting geared up to say "goodbye" to my kids - I get to say "hello" to a baby! One of my families has a two-month-old, Mom has been taking maternity leave and staying home with him, but she's a teacher and needs to return to school for the final weeks. I was elated when she asked if I could take him a couple of days a week! (Dad is staying home on other days.)

17 years ago I opened my family child care business with one client - a two month old baby! So here we are, all these years later, ready to close the doors, and I get the opportunity to open my door, and open the world, for one more baby before I go! I feel so blessed. I can't think of a better way to spend my last day than holding a baby and hanging out with the kids I've loved for years.

But if I'm honest, I'd have to admit it makes it a bit hard too. Nothing gets me going more than looking into the eyes of a newborn and seeing all those possibilites. All the joyful days watching butterflies, giggling at the older kids doing a show, learning those first words, taking those first steps, petting a cow for the first time, watching a plane take off and land and take off again, putting on a real fireman's helmet, throwing toys in the wading pool to see which float and which sink, slapping paint on a sheet with a fly swatter, making that first handprint in clay to give to Mom on Mother's Day. So much to show them, to teach them, to share with them. I love the infinite possibilities in an infant's eyes. So I have to admit, knowing I won't have the chance to offer these experiences to this little guy tugs at my heart.

But also, knowing I DID do all these things and more with his older sister tells me that she's got it in her to open that door to the world for him. I know each of my kids has in them the desire to keep going with what I started. They know that being curious can lead to knowledge and adventure. They know that being creative can solve their problems and add beauty to our world. They know that being courteous is the foundation for friendship and the most effective form of communication. They know. And they'll spread the word, I can count on it.

Potty Training The Parents

This is a CALLING ALL PROFESSIONALS post from the KIDBIZ newsletter. See if you have some advice to offer this fellow child care professional.

Rachel, a family child care provider in Iowa, recently wrote to me asking for help with potty training a young girl in her daycare, just about 3 years old. She wrote:

I'm currently in a situation where the parents wanted to start training their daughter at 22 months. No big deal right? Now, almost a year later and she still will not tell me when she has to go. If i ask her if she has to go I am told no and she goes in her underwear. Now, I've given them a checklist on what the signs for readiness are and I know that she doesn't have all the signs but the parents insist on training her. I'm kind of at a standstill here. Also, they use a mixture of Pull-Ups and the vinyl pants with the padded underwear built in them. Often they forget to send any extras so after an accident she has nothing to wear except a diaper I can give her from my own supply. She has accidents here and at home. Can you help?

It sounds to me like Rachel is having more problems with the parents than she is with the child. Successful potty training always begins with the parents! Everyone has to have an agreed upon plan in order to teach the child, or there will just be mixed signals for the child. I have a plan to offer Rachel, but I'd really like to hear your input first! Send in your comments to Rachel and let's help her solve this problem!

What I Love About Child Care

I think it's time for a more personal blog entry...
I have been in the child care business for over 17 years and I have loved every moment of it. This is why it has been such a difficult decision for me to close my Family Child Care business, Patty Cake Preschool. But being an author, speaker, provider, mother, wife among many other titles has finally gotten to be a load too big for me to carry. June 7, 2007 will be my last day for my school. Each day that it gets closer my anxiety grows. I LOVE these kids! I don't remember what life is like without getting a hug every morning, snuggling with a child on the rocker to read, playing ball on a summer day or even having apples and graham crackers for a morning snack! I have been defined by my child care business for so long it's scary to consider that part of me to be gone.

As I try to sort through the toys to sell at the end of the month I find myself hoarding away many of them! There are certain things I just can't imagine not being in my house. Like the castle with a dragon and princess, the number cups I made with the kids over 10 years ago, my song cards, our tea set, the dump truck in the sandbox. I've decided to keep these items and my excuse is that someday I'll get to be the cool Grandma with lots of neat stuff to play with at her house! Sounds viable right?

Then there's the things I can't save. Like the kisses little Kolton gives. Or the roll of the eyes from Ellie. And the giggle from Carley. I've had to say goodbye to dozens of children over the years, and let things like this go. But knowing they won't be replaced this time makes it so much harder.

I do have moments where I get excited about who I will be soon. Like when it's 11:00 p.m. and I'm writing a new workshop speech and I realize I will soon be able to do this when the sun is shining. Or when I'm inside on a Saturday writing a new chapter for my next book while my family is out on a bike ride and I remember that I will soon regain my family time. I love to write. I love to talk to people about child care and adoption. So I'm looking forward to having more time for these things. My only concern is that without the children in my daily life my creative juices will stop flowing!

Nothing gets the writer in me going faster than spending time talking with the kids about what they like, what they don't, what their wishes are. I have stacks of scrap paper where I furiously wrote an idea for a book after such a conversation. The kids have such an honest view of life. Nothing messy about it. Pure joy. Pure love. Pure pain. Pure sorrow. Genuine interest in the world they live in. I learn so much from them every day!

So, I'll continue to work on some articles for you, but if you'll indulge me, I'll also spend the next month sharing a bit about what I love about child care, what I'll miss, and what I've learned from these precious children I've been so lucky to have in my life.

NICHH Child Care Study: Mother's Sensitivity Not To Be Overlooked

I've done some digging, trying to find the original study and an honest review of it for you to use. It was not as easy to find as I had hoped! However, I did make some progress. The actual study is at www.secc.rti.org but it is basically a scientific report of the types of testing and research they did, it is not an overview of the findings. The actual press release put out by the NICHH is at www.nichd.nih.gov/news/releases/child_care.cfm so this is probably the most reliable source for the overview. I find it interesting that the release states: "a mother's sensitivity was a better iindicator of reported problem behaviors than was time in child care." Also, "Higher maternal education and family income also predicted lower levels of children's problem behaviors." Interesting, I haven't found a single news article that reports this! Could it be that it's just too hard to put any blame on parents for their child's behavior so the media gives the parents an out by placing it on the child care centers? Things that make ya go hummmmmm....

Child Care Study: Tell Parents The WHOLE Story

Once again the air is abuzz with the sound of the media picking the bones of a press release and finding a morsel to throw out into public view to scare the pants off them. The newest child care study released in the Washington Post sheds a poor light on childcare - when a child is in poor quality care, in a large group setting, for long hours. The media has once again decided to leave out the details in order to sensationalize this and squeeze all the controversy out of it that they can. The articles popping up all over the country tell horror stories of how all of our children are doomed to negative, aggresive behavior due to being in child care.

THE TRUTH: the study actually showed that children in high quality care for short periods of time show a positive long term outcome. They keys here are that the quality needs to be high, the group needs to be small, and the parents need to spend all the time they can with their child. Well, I do believe I just gave the definition of family child care!

So providers, take a few moments this week to talk with your child care parents about this study. They are probably reading blogs and other news briefs on the web and may be concerned. Let them know that the negative effects of child care cited in the study do not apply to their child! Family child care providers provide some of the highest quality care in the nation. Our small group size and ability to bond individually with the children, and continue relationships as they grow older offer children a level of quality that is leaps and bounds above that which centers can provide.

Does this mean then that centers provide low quality care? Hey now! Don't act like the media does, take the time to truly understand the issue. While it's true that centers house many more children - they also have individual classrooms. So the question isn't how big is the center, it's how big is the classroom. I am often asked by parents to tell them which center in town I think is the best, I always respond the same - the place where you take your child for care is only as good as the teacher and classroom where your child will be. So, centers that maintain small classrooms and hire quality, trained staff with that "I love what I do" X factor in their gut, are just as likey to provide the level of quality a child deserves as a family child care provider.

The point here is, that if you know your a great teacher or FCC provider, don't keep it a secret! Tell the parents all you do to keep the quality high in your classroom/home environment. Tell them why you are the part of the study that showed child care as a benefit for children and why you shouldn't be compared to the places that have a negative effect on children.

Better yet, call your local newspaper, radio and TV people and let them know there's a GREAT daycare in their midst and it's about time they covered the story!

KidBiz Newsletter is Launched!

The first edition of the KidBiz Newsletter made it's debut yesterday! Filled with straight forward information that can make a difference for child care providers, the newsletter is your link with each other and the information you are searching for! The first issue starts by exploring how to get parents to follow through on the tasks you ask of them, such as bringing more diapers and filling out forms. There's a couple of Tips and Tricks, taken from my booklet 101 Tips and Tricks, an open forum where readers can ask others for help with a specific issue, and a list of where I will be presenting for the month. Nothing fancy, just straight talk from one professional to another. If you haven't signed up yet, visit http://www.patriciadischler.com/ to subscribe now!

Working for YOU!

Hey There Bloggers! This is my first post, and I can't wait until we get going! I'll start off by telling you a bit about me...

For the past 17 years I have run Patty Cake Preschool, a family child care business. It's been a great ride! I LOVE my job, my career, and all that it entails! I've learned alot over the years and it's time to give back. In 2005 I wrote From Babysitter To Business Owner: Getting The Most Out Of Your Home Child Care Business (Redleaf Press) and since then I've been traveling the country to present at child care conferences and share this information. My main goals are to help other providers gain the appreciation and respect the deserve and give them the tools to make their business successful for years to come! This year I released a new book, Because I Loved You: A Birthmother's View Of Open Adoption (Goblin Fern Press) and began to add speaking engagements at adoption agencies to my list of activities. Balancing the daycare, the writing, the speaking and my family has really become tough so I've made the difficult decision to close my daycare and focus on writing and training.

So, that brings me back to this blog. My goal as a writer is to bring child care professionals the books they need. That means hearing from you! What is tough for you? What parts inspire you? I want to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly! By staying connected with you I can provide not only the books you are looking for, but the trainings as well. I attended alot of hours at conferences in my career in child care and I know what bugged me and what I loved. How about you?

Join this discussion, share your stories, and let's find a way to keep going in this Kid Biz that we call child care!