I've just finished reading the entire series of "No-Cry" books by Elizabeth Pantley, and they are fantastic! I highly recommend them not only for providers and teachers, but to recommend them to the parents you serve. Here's an excerpt from her discipline book. Enjoy!
Patricia
Tantrums, Fussing and Whining
from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley
If you ask parents to list the most frustrating discipline problems during early childhood, you would find that these three items appear on every list. All children master their own version of these behaviors – every parent has to deal with them!
Controlling their emotions
Most often these behaviors are caused by a child’s inability to express or control his emotions. Tiredness, hunger, boredom, frustration and other causes that ignite The Big Three can frequently be avoided or modified. When your child begins a meltdown, try to determine if you can tell what underlying issue is causing the problem. Solve that problem and you’ll likely have your sweet child back again.
Handling tantrums, fussing and whining
No matter how diligent you are in recognizing trigger causes, your child will still have meltdown moments. Or even meltdown days. The following tips can help you handle those inevitable bumps in the road. Be flexible and practice those solutions that seem to bring the best results.
Offer choices
You may be able to avoid problems by giving your child more of a say in his life. You can do this by offering choices. Instead of saying, “Get ready for bed right now,” which may provoke a tantrum, offer a choice, “What would you like to do first, put on your pajamas or brush your teeth?” Children who are busy deciding things are often happy.
Get eye-to-eye
When you make a request from a distance your child will likely ignore you. Noncompliance creates stress, which leads to fussing and tantrums – from both of you. Instead, get down to your child’s level, look him in the eye and make clear, concise requests. This will catch his full attention.
Tell him what you DO want
Instead of focusing on misbehavior and what you don’t want him to do, explain exactly what you’d like your child to do or say instead. Give him simple instructions to follow.
Validate his feelings
Help your child identify and understand her emotions. Give words to her feelings, “You’re sad. You want to stay here and play. I know.” This doesn’t mean you must give in to her request, but letting her know that you understand her problem may be enough to help her calm down.
Teach the Quiet Bunny
When children get worked up, their physiological symptoms keep them in an agitated state. You can teach your child how to relax and then use this approach when fussing begins.
You can start each morning or end each day with a brief relaxation session. Have your child sit or lie comfortably with eyes closed. Tell a story that he’s a quiet bunny. Name body parts (feet, legs, tummy, etc.) and have your child wiggle it, and then relax it.
Once your child is familiar with this process you can call upon it at times when he is agitated. Crouch down to your child’s level, put your hands on his shoulders, look him in the eye and say, let’s do our Quiet Bunny. And then talk him through the process. Over time, just mentioning it and asking him to close his eyes will bring relaxation.
Distract and involve
Children can easily be distracted when a new activity is suggested. If your child is whining or fussing try viewing it as an “activity” that your child is engaged in. Since children aren’t very good multi-taskers you might be able to end the unpleasant activity with the recommendation of something different to do.
Invoke his imagination
If a child is upset about something, it can help to vocalize his fantasy of what he wishes would happen: “I bet you wish we could buy every single toy in this store.” This can become a fun game.
Use the preventive approach
Review desired behavior prior to leaving the house, or when entering a public building, or before you begin a playdate. This might prevent the whining or tantrum from even beginning. Put your comments in the positive (tell what you want, not what you don’t want) and be specific.
When it’s over, it’s over
After an episode of misbehavior is finished you can let it go and move on. Don’t feel you must teach a lesson by withholding your approval, love or company. Children bounce right back, and it is okay for you to bounce right back, too.
Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Observation and assessment are a large part of a teacher's work, it allows us to create successul curriculum specific to a child's needs. Here's a great article from the President of the Montessori Foundation that can help you learn the fine art of observation.
Patricia
Learning to observe your child and follow her lead
by Tim Seldin
President, The Montessori Foundation
Chair, The International Montessori Council
As parents we often feel the need to direct our children, but Montessori believed we should follow them instead. How much time do you spend watching your child? I don't mean watching half-heartedly while you are doing something else. I mean focusing your attention completely on your child for an extended period.
There is no better way to begin using Montessori's principles in your home than by sitting back and observing what your child is looking at, what he says, and what he does. Children have so much to teach us about their needs and interests if we will only take the time to pay attention.
How to observe
You may want to keep a bound notebook or journal in which you can make notes and keep a record of your observations. Regularly set aside some time to observe you child. Sit somewhere comfortable close to him so that you can easily see and hear him and any other children with whom he is playing. Make notes every so often about what you see. Over time, your notes will form an interesting record of your child's behavior at different ages, as well as helping you to notice if a pattern of behavior is emerging at a particular time. Try to interpret what your child's behavior means. When you notice that your child displays an interest in something new, try, without overwhelming him, to nurture it. Think about ways to introduce some new activities that will appeal to your child's activities and achievements.
What to observe
Remember, the only thing that you can count on day after day with children is that, as they grow, their preferences, interests, and abilities change in unpredictable ways. Every time you observe your child, try to forget about previous experiences or perceptions and focus on what is really happening right now. While your child is playing, notice which toys he selects. How does he use them? Does he tend to play alone, or with others? Do you notice any patterns over time?
Watch how your child moves about the house. Does he move from place to place quietly, moving gracefully, or does he race about? Is there a room in your home that your child prefers to be in? What seems to attract him to that room?
When eating, note what your child most enjoys. Can he drink without spilling and use a fork and spoon appropriately and with good eye-hand coordination? How does your child behave at mealtimes? Is this a time when he likes to talk about his day?
As you observe, think twice before you interfere with your child's activity. Your goal in this exercise is to learn from what he is doing, not to keep jumping up and correcting him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
by Tim Seldin
President, The Montessori Foundation
Chair, The International Montessori Council
~*~*~*~*~
You are welcome to reprint this article on your website or in your newspaper or newsletter, provided that you reprint the entire article, including the complete byline with author's name and book title. Please also send a link or copy to elizabeth@pantley.com. Thank you.
Patricia
Learning to observe your child and follow her lead
by Tim Seldin
President, The Montessori Foundation
Chair, The International Montessori Council
As parents we often feel the need to direct our children, but Montessori believed we should follow them instead. How much time do you spend watching your child? I don't mean watching half-heartedly while you are doing something else. I mean focusing your attention completely on your child for an extended period.
There is no better way to begin using Montessori's principles in your home than by sitting back and observing what your child is looking at, what he says, and what he does. Children have so much to teach us about their needs and interests if we will only take the time to pay attention.
How to observe
You may want to keep a bound notebook or journal in which you can make notes and keep a record of your observations. Regularly set aside some time to observe you child. Sit somewhere comfortable close to him so that you can easily see and hear him and any other children with whom he is playing. Make notes every so often about what you see. Over time, your notes will form an interesting record of your child's behavior at different ages, as well as helping you to notice if a pattern of behavior is emerging at a particular time. Try to interpret what your child's behavior means. When you notice that your child displays an interest in something new, try, without overwhelming him, to nurture it. Think about ways to introduce some new activities that will appeal to your child's activities and achievements.
What to observe
Remember, the only thing that you can count on day after day with children is that, as they grow, their preferences, interests, and abilities change in unpredictable ways. Every time you observe your child, try to forget about previous experiences or perceptions and focus on what is really happening right now. While your child is playing, notice which toys he selects. How does he use them? Does he tend to play alone, or with others? Do you notice any patterns over time?
Watch how your child moves about the house. Does he move from place to place quietly, moving gracefully, or does he race about? Is there a room in your home that your child prefers to be in? What seems to attract him to that room?
When eating, note what your child most enjoys. Can he drink without spilling and use a fork and spoon appropriately and with good eye-hand coordination? How does your child behave at mealtimes? Is this a time when he likes to talk about his day?
As you observe, think twice before you interfere with your child's activity. Your goal in this exercise is to learn from what he is doing, not to keep jumping up and correcting him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
by Tim Seldin
President, The Montessori Foundation
Chair, The International Montessori Council
~*~*~*~*~
You are welcome to reprint this article on your website or in your newspaper or newsletter, provided that you reprint the entire article, including the complete byline with author's name and book title. Please also send a link or copy to elizabeth@pantley.com. Thank you.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Spring Cleaning Safety Tips
You've all heard me say it before - safety is the number one concern of parents! So, the people at the Illinois Poison Center have been nice enough to provide me some articles to share with you on this type of topic. Staying informed = staying safe.
Patricia
Safety First with Spring Cleaning
Out with the old and in with the new. Spring is the perfect time of year for cleaning out your home and that includes sorting through the household medicine supply--adding new prescriptions and eliminating those that have expired or are no longer needed. In 2008, the Illinois Poison Center (IPC) handled 7,568 calls concerning accidental medication errors, which is why poison experts have developed tips for cleaning out and restocking household medicine supplies.
“Looking through your medications should be done twice a year," said Dr. Michael Wahl, managing medical director of the IPC. "Some expired drugs lose their potency which means you may not be getting the proper dosage of medication.”
Dr. Wahl recommends checking the date on the medicine bottle and properly discarding all drugs that are expired. If possible, take drugs to an approved medication disposal site. The Illinois Poison Center has developed medicine disposal guidelines for unused or expired medications, for more details or log onto the Illinois Poison Center Web site at www.illinoispoisoncenter.org.
All medicine cabinets should contain the following items from the Illinois Poison Center's first aid list:
· Current prescription and over-the-counter drugs
· Adhesive bandages of assorted sizes for minor cuts and scrapes
· Gauze pads for larger cuts and scrapes
· Adhesive tape to keep gauze in place
· Antibiotic ointment to disinfect and protect wounds from infection
· A digital thermometer (non mercury-based)
· Antihistamine for allergic reactions
· Hydrocortisone cream to relieve irritation from rashes
· Acetaminophen or ibuprofen for pain
· Insect repellent spray to protect from West Nile during the summer months
· Sunscreen with SPF protection
In addition to old or unused medication, scan your medicine storage to make sure you are keeping your family safe from old medical advice. That means getting rid of the following items:
· Syrup of ipecac - The American Academy of Pediatrics no longer recommends that parents keep it in their homes.
· Mercury thermometers - If these thermometers break, they can expose your child to mercury and mercury vapors.
· Hydrogen peroxide - Many experts believe that hydrogen peroxide isn't any more helpful than regular soap and water when cleaning a simple wound. Hydrogen peroxide could damage healthy skin cells.
· Baby aspirin - If baby aspirin is part of your child's medicinal routine, it should be thrown out. Remember: you shouldn't usually give your child, or your teenager, aspirin because they may run the risk of developing Reye syndrome, a serious and often fatal disorder that affects the liver and brain, and is thought to be caused by the use of aspirin to treat flu-like illnesses and chickenpox.
There’s more to keeping your family safe than just sorting through the medicine supply. Common household items can also be a health threat. Each year, the IPC handles numerous calls involving toxic exposure to household cleaners, with products such as bleaches, disinfectants, floor and tile cleaners, automatic dishwasher detergent and glass cleaners, most commonly mentioned as the source of the poisoning. Frequently, potentially toxic exposures occurred because these products were not in their original containers, had been improperly used, or had been left open, unattended by an adult and in reach of a child.
Tips for poison proofing your home:
· Whenever you're using cleaning products, always read the product label first and use the product according to the label directions
· Keep all cleaning products in their original containers with original labels
· Store cleaning products out of sight, in locked cabinets
· Keep all household cleaning products and other poisonous products separated from food
· Never leave a cleaning product open and unattended
· When using cleaning products, work in well-ventilated areas
· Dispose of cleaning products according to the instructions on the label or at your community chemical waste drop-off site
These poison proofing tips also apply when cleaning garages and basements, which usually contain many potential hazards, such as: pesticides, weed killers, gasoline, oil and other supplies. Ninety percent of poisonings can be treated safely and effectively at home, by calling the IPC and providing the name of the poisonous substance and the approximate amount involved in the exposure. The Illinois Poison Center’s staff of pharmacists, physicians, nurses and poison information specialists has access to references which allows them to quickly determine the degree of toxicity or hazard and offer recommendations for managing the poisoning.
March is Illinois Poison Prevention Month. To learn more about poison prevention and to listen to the IPC's public service announcement go to www.illinoispoisoncenter.org.
If you suspect a poisoning, don’t wait until symptoms appear immediately call the Illinois Poison Center at 1-800-222-1222.
Patricia
Safety First with Spring Cleaning
Out with the old and in with the new. Spring is the perfect time of year for cleaning out your home and that includes sorting through the household medicine supply--adding new prescriptions and eliminating those that have expired or are no longer needed. In 2008, the Illinois Poison Center (IPC) handled 7,568 calls concerning accidental medication errors, which is why poison experts have developed tips for cleaning out and restocking household medicine supplies.
“Looking through your medications should be done twice a year," said Dr. Michael Wahl, managing medical director of the IPC. "Some expired drugs lose their potency which means you may not be getting the proper dosage of medication.”
Dr. Wahl recommends checking the date on the medicine bottle and properly discarding all drugs that are expired. If possible, take drugs to an approved medication disposal site. The Illinois Poison Center has developed medicine disposal guidelines for unused or expired medications, for more details or log onto the Illinois Poison Center Web site at www.illinoispoisoncenter.org.
All medicine cabinets should contain the following items from the Illinois Poison Center's first aid list:
· Current prescription and over-the-counter drugs
· Adhesive bandages of assorted sizes for minor cuts and scrapes
· Gauze pads for larger cuts and scrapes
· Adhesive tape to keep gauze in place
· Antibiotic ointment to disinfect and protect wounds from infection
· A digital thermometer (non mercury-based)
· Antihistamine for allergic reactions
· Hydrocortisone cream to relieve irritation from rashes
· Acetaminophen or ibuprofen for pain
· Insect repellent spray to protect from West Nile during the summer months
· Sunscreen with SPF protection
In addition to old or unused medication, scan your medicine storage to make sure you are keeping your family safe from old medical advice. That means getting rid of the following items:
· Syrup of ipecac - The American Academy of Pediatrics no longer recommends that parents keep it in their homes.
· Mercury thermometers - If these thermometers break, they can expose your child to mercury and mercury vapors.
· Hydrogen peroxide - Many experts believe that hydrogen peroxide isn't any more helpful than regular soap and water when cleaning a simple wound. Hydrogen peroxide could damage healthy skin cells.
· Baby aspirin - If baby aspirin is part of your child's medicinal routine, it should be thrown out. Remember: you shouldn't usually give your child, or your teenager, aspirin because they may run the risk of developing Reye syndrome, a serious and often fatal disorder that affects the liver and brain, and is thought to be caused by the use of aspirin to treat flu-like illnesses and chickenpox.
There’s more to keeping your family safe than just sorting through the medicine supply. Common household items can also be a health threat. Each year, the IPC handles numerous calls involving toxic exposure to household cleaners, with products such as bleaches, disinfectants, floor and tile cleaners, automatic dishwasher detergent and glass cleaners, most commonly mentioned as the source of the poisoning. Frequently, potentially toxic exposures occurred because these products were not in their original containers, had been improperly used, or had been left open, unattended by an adult and in reach of a child.
Tips for poison proofing your home:
· Whenever you're using cleaning products, always read the product label first and use the product according to the label directions
· Keep all cleaning products in their original containers with original labels
· Store cleaning products out of sight, in locked cabinets
· Keep all household cleaning products and other poisonous products separated from food
· Never leave a cleaning product open and unattended
· When using cleaning products, work in well-ventilated areas
· Dispose of cleaning products according to the instructions on the label or at your community chemical waste drop-off site
These poison proofing tips also apply when cleaning garages and basements, which usually contain many potential hazards, such as: pesticides, weed killers, gasoline, oil and other supplies. Ninety percent of poisonings can be treated safely and effectively at home, by calling the IPC and providing the name of the poisonous substance and the approximate amount involved in the exposure. The Illinois Poison Center’s staff of pharmacists, physicians, nurses and poison information specialists has access to references which allows them to quickly determine the degree of toxicity or hazard and offer recommendations for managing the poisoning.
March is Illinois Poison Prevention Month. To learn more about poison prevention and to listen to the IPC's public service announcement go to www.illinoispoisoncenter.org.
If you suspect a poisoning, don’t wait until symptoms appear immediately call the Illinois Poison Center at 1-800-222-1222.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Fieldtrips with Babies
I am a huge fan of field trips, but even I will admit that sometimes it can be a challenge with an infant that is not comfortable in their car seat. Below is an article by Elizabeth Pantley, with some great tips on how to make these trips fun for everyone!
I'd love to hear from you on this topic - do you take field trips? Why? or Why not?
Patricia
Car Seat Crying
By Elizabeth Pantley, Author of Gentle Baby Care
Some babies fall asleep almost before you’re out of the driveway, but others won’t spend five happy minutes in their car seats. Usually, this is because your baby is used to more freedom of movement and more physical attention than you can provide when she’s belted into her seat.
Hearing your baby cry while you are trying to drive is challenging. Even though it’s difficult to deal with, remember that you and your baby’s safety are most important. Parents sometimes take a crying baby out of the car seat, which is extremely dangerous and makes it even more difficult for the baby to get used to riding in the car seat. Some parents make poor driving decisions when their babies are crying, which puts everyone in the car at risk. Either pull over and calm your baby down, or focus on your driving. Don’t try to do both.
The good news is that a few new ideas and a little time and maturity will help your baby become a happy traveler. (I know, because three of my babies were car-seat-haters!)
The trip to car seat happiness
Any one (or more) of the following strategies may help solve your car seat dilemma. If the first one you try fails, choose another one, then another; eventually, you’ll hit upon the right solution for your baby.
Make sure that your baby is healthy. If car seat crying is something new, and your baby has been particularly fussy at home, too, your baby may have an ear infection or other illness. A visit to the doctor is in order.
Bring the car seat in the house and let your baby sit and play in it. Once it becomes more familiar in the house, she may be happier to sit there in the car.
Keep a special box of soft, safe car toys that you’ll use only in the car. If these are interesting enough, they may hold her attention. (Avoid hard toys because they could cause injury in a quick stop.)
Tape or hang toys for viewing.You can do this on the back of the seat that your baby is facing or string an array of lightweight toys from the ceiling using heavy tape and yarn. Place them just at arm’s reach so that your baby can bat at them from her seat. (Don’t use hard toys that could hurt your baby if they come loose in a quick stop.)
Make a car mobile.Link a long row of plastic baby chains from one side of the backseat to the other. Clip soft, lightweight new toys onto the chain for each trip. Make sure they are secure and keep on eye on these so that they don’t become loose while you are driving.
Hang a made-for-baby poster on the back of the seat that faces your baby. These are usually black, white, red and bold primary colors; some even have pockets so you can change the pictures. (Remember to do this, since changing the scenery is very helpful.)
Experiment with different types of music in the car. Some babies enjoy lullabies or music tapes made especially for young children; others surprise you by calming down as soon as you play one of your favorites. Some babies enjoy hearing Mom or Dad sing, more than anything else! (For some reason, a rousing chorus of “Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer” has always been a good choice for us, even out of season!)
Try “white noise” in the car. You can purchase CDs of soothing nature sounds or you can make a recording of your vacuum cleaner!
Practice with short, pleasant trips when your baby is in a good mood.It helps if someone can sit near her and keep her entertained. A few good experiences may help set a new pattern.
Try a pacifier or teething toy. When your baby has something to suck or chew on he may be happier. Just make sure it doesn’t present a choking hazard, and keep to small, soft toys.
Hang a mirror.That way your baby can see you (and you can see your baby) while you are driving. Baby stores offer specialty mirrors made especially for this purpose. When in her seat, she may think that you’re not there, and just seeing your face will help her feel better.
Put up a sunshade in the window.This can be helpful if you suspect that sunshine in your baby’s face may be a problem. Use the window-stick-on types, and avoid any with hard pieces that could become dislodged in a quick stop.
Try to consolidate trips. Trip-chaining is effective, especially if you avoid being in the car for long periods of time, and you don’t have many ins-and-outs.
Make sure your baby hasn’t outgrown her car seat. If her legs are confined, or her belts are too tight, she my find her seat to be uncomfortable.
Try opening a window.Fresh air and a nice breeze can be soothing.
If all else fails . . . take the bus!
This article is an excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)
I'd love to hear from you on this topic - do you take field trips? Why? or Why not?
Patricia
Car Seat Crying
By Elizabeth Pantley, Author of Gentle Baby Care
Some babies fall asleep almost before you’re out of the driveway, but others won’t spend five happy minutes in their car seats. Usually, this is because your baby is used to more freedom of movement and more physical attention than you can provide when she’s belted into her seat.
Hearing your baby cry while you are trying to drive is challenging. Even though it’s difficult to deal with, remember that you and your baby’s safety are most important. Parents sometimes take a crying baby out of the car seat, which is extremely dangerous and makes it even more difficult for the baby to get used to riding in the car seat. Some parents make poor driving decisions when their babies are crying, which puts everyone in the car at risk. Either pull over and calm your baby down, or focus on your driving. Don’t try to do both.
The good news is that a few new ideas and a little time and maturity will help your baby become a happy traveler. (I know, because three of my babies were car-seat-haters!)
The trip to car seat happiness
Any one (or more) of the following strategies may help solve your car seat dilemma. If the first one you try fails, choose another one, then another; eventually, you’ll hit upon the right solution for your baby.
Make sure that your baby is healthy. If car seat crying is something new, and your baby has been particularly fussy at home, too, your baby may have an ear infection or other illness. A visit to the doctor is in order.
Bring the car seat in the house and let your baby sit and play in it. Once it becomes more familiar in the house, she may be happier to sit there in the car.
Keep a special box of soft, safe car toys that you’ll use only in the car. If these are interesting enough, they may hold her attention. (Avoid hard toys because they could cause injury in a quick stop.)
Tape or hang toys for viewing.You can do this on the back of the seat that your baby is facing or string an array of lightweight toys from the ceiling using heavy tape and yarn. Place them just at arm’s reach so that your baby can bat at them from her seat. (Don’t use hard toys that could hurt your baby if they come loose in a quick stop.)
Make a car mobile.Link a long row of plastic baby chains from one side of the backseat to the other. Clip soft, lightweight new toys onto the chain for each trip. Make sure they are secure and keep on eye on these so that they don’t become loose while you are driving.
Hang a made-for-baby poster on the back of the seat that faces your baby. These are usually black, white, red and bold primary colors; some even have pockets so you can change the pictures. (Remember to do this, since changing the scenery is very helpful.)
Experiment with different types of music in the car. Some babies enjoy lullabies or music tapes made especially for young children; others surprise you by calming down as soon as you play one of your favorites. Some babies enjoy hearing Mom or Dad sing, more than anything else! (For some reason, a rousing chorus of “Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer” has always been a good choice for us, even out of season!)
Try “white noise” in the car. You can purchase CDs of soothing nature sounds or you can make a recording of your vacuum cleaner!
Practice with short, pleasant trips when your baby is in a good mood.It helps if someone can sit near her and keep her entertained. A few good experiences may help set a new pattern.
Try a pacifier or teething toy. When your baby has something to suck or chew on he may be happier. Just make sure it doesn’t present a choking hazard, and keep to small, soft toys.
Hang a mirror.That way your baby can see you (and you can see your baby) while you are driving. Baby stores offer specialty mirrors made especially for this purpose. When in her seat, she may think that you’re not there, and just seeing your face will help her feel better.
Put up a sunshade in the window.This can be helpful if you suspect that sunshine in your baby’s face may be a problem. Use the window-stick-on types, and avoid any with hard pieces that could become dislodged in a quick stop.
Try to consolidate trips. Trip-chaining is effective, especially if you avoid being in the car for long periods of time, and you don’t have many ins-and-outs.
Make sure your baby hasn’t outgrown her car seat. If her legs are confined, or her belts are too tight, she my find her seat to be uncomfortable.
Try opening a window.Fresh air and a nice breeze can be soothing.
If all else fails . . . take the bus!
This article is an excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Television in Daycare?
I think most of you know how I feel about television, I don't believe it belongs in the early childhood classroom, here's an article that looks closely at this issue. Feel free to send your comments on where you stand on this issue!
Patricia
SHOULD BABIES and TODDLERS WATCH TELEVISION?
By Elizabeth Pantley, author of Gentle Baby Care and Kid Cooperation
So much television programming is aimed at young children. Much of it appears to be educational: teaching the ABCs and life skills. When is it appropriate to introduce a baby to television, and what do parents need to know about this topic?
A great deal of research has been done on the effects of television on children’s lives. The first step in making the decision is to get the facts. Because nearly all of us have one or more TV sets in our home, and since most of us watch some TV nearly every day, we may not want to hear what research tells us, but these are things parents need to know.
Experts suspect that babies younger than two years old view TV as a confusing array of colors, images, and noises. They don’t understand much of the content. Since the average TV scene lasts five to eight seconds, your baby or toddler doesn’t have enough time to digest what’s happening.
Cartoons and many children’s shows are filled with images of violence. If you find this hard to believe, surf the TV on Saturday morning. The realism portrayed in today’s cartoons has moved light years beyond the Bugs Bunny type of violence. Many children’s shows almost are animated versions of adult action films. Research shows that exposure to this type of programming increases the risk of aggressive behavior and desensitizes children to violence.
Babies and toddlers have a very literal view of the world. They can’t yet tell the difference between real and pretend, and they interpret what they see on TV as true life. Research has demonstrated that many young children believe that TV characters actually live inside the TV set. This can confuse young children’s understanding of the world and get in the way of their learning what’s right or wrong. It can paint a picture of a frightening, unstable, and bewildering world ¾ and your little one does not yet have the faculties to put what he sees into proper perspective.
Television watching can be addictive. The more that children watch, the more they want to watch. Even toddlers can become drawn to the set. Once addicted, turning off the TV can become a daily battle. Children who watch TV excessively often become passive and lose their natural creativity; they eventually have a hard time keeping themselves busy, and they lose valuable time that should be dedicated to “play” ¾ the foundation of a healthy childhood and the primary way that very young children learn.
Parents sometimes unwittingly begin to use TV more and more as a way to keep their children happy and quiet. It takes a strong will and dedication to avoid the easy route provided by this free and easy ¾ yet sometimes dangerous ¾ babysitter.
Children experience unparalleled physical, mental, and emotional growth in the early years of life. Time spent watching television is time taken away from more healthful activities that nurture growth and development.
Children who watch a lot of television during their early years are at risk for childhood obesity, poor social development, and aggressive behavior. They often have trouble adjusting to preschool or kindergarten. According to a study by Yale Family Television Research, teachers characterized children who watched excessive television as less cooperative, less imaginative, less enthusiastic about learning, and less happy than those who watched little or no TV.
Due to all the above reasons, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that parents not allow children under two to watch any television.
You may have noticed that all of these points demonstrate the negative aspects of letting babies and toddlers watch TV, and you’re wondering if there are any positives. There are a few, but I’ll be honest: I had to be very creative to come up with this list, since published research doesn’t demonstrate many good points for putting a young child in front of a television. But we need to be realistic and acknowledge that most of us aren’t going to put our TVs in the closet until all of our children start school. Here are some of the good points of television for children:
Quality children’s programming can teach your child basic academic skills, such as the ABCs, counting, addition, science fundamentals, basic language skills, manners, and even early reading skills.
Your child can view things she might not otherwise see in daily life: exotic animals, distant lands, musical instruments, historical places, and diverse lifestyles. Your child can learn about the world beyond her home and neighborhood.
Your child can learn basic social skills from watching wholesome programming: how to play with other children, how to use good manners.
Using extraordinarily careful selection and restraint, a little bit of television can provide a parent with much-needed down time, or time to catch up on tasks that need adult-only attention.
TV watching tips for parents of babies and young children
The following tips may help you minimize the negative and maximize the positive effects of television watching for your little one:
Hold off introducing television ¾ even videos ¾ to your baby as long as possible. If you wait until your child’s second birthday, you can consider yourself incredibly successful in starting your little one off well and with the kind of real-life interaction that is so important for his development. If you decide to allow TV before your child turns two, choose programming carefully, limit viewing time and skip days when possible. (Daily viewing easily becomes habit.) The less watching time, the better! Set a goal, such as no more than 30 minutes or an hour per day, or one favorite show, so that you’ll not be tempted to turn the TV on too frequently.
Watch programs yourself before you allow your baby or toddler to watch them. Just because a network markets a show to young children doesn’t mean it will reflect your own family’s morals and values. You will be amazed to discover that many programs aimed at children contain violence or topics that are inappropriate for your child. Don’t assume that your baby can pick out the moral message from a program that features violence or conflict on the way to an important lesson.
Pay attention to commercials ¾ surprisingly, an excellent children’s show will sometimes feature commercials that depict the exact things you don’t want your little one to see!
Choose programs that are developmentally appropriate for your child. For you, this means shows that are slow, boring, and probably somewhat goofy. But choose programs from your child’s perspective, not your own.
Invest in a collection of appropriate and educational videos for your child so that you won’t be confined to network programming schedules when you are ready to let your little one watch something.
Watch along with your child when you can so that you can monitor your child’s reactions to what he’s seeing. Invite questions and discuss what you are watching so that you can understand your little one’s take. Point things out and talk about what is being taught to get the most of out of educational TV. You may even follow up with some lessons afterwards.
Avoid keeping the TV on when no one is actively watching. Many people do this and are used to the background noise the set generates, but your child will almost surely be exposed to programming that is inappropriate for her.
Make a conscious decision about how you will use television in your family; don’t watch it by accident or default.
This article is a copyrighted excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)
Patricia
SHOULD BABIES and TODDLERS WATCH TELEVISION?
By Elizabeth Pantley, author of Gentle Baby Care and Kid Cooperation
So much television programming is aimed at young children. Much of it appears to be educational: teaching the ABCs and life skills. When is it appropriate to introduce a baby to television, and what do parents need to know about this topic?
A great deal of research has been done on the effects of television on children’s lives. The first step in making the decision is to get the facts. Because nearly all of us have one or more TV sets in our home, and since most of us watch some TV nearly every day, we may not want to hear what research tells us, but these are things parents need to know.
Experts suspect that babies younger than two years old view TV as a confusing array of colors, images, and noises. They don’t understand much of the content. Since the average TV scene lasts five to eight seconds, your baby or toddler doesn’t have enough time to digest what’s happening.
Cartoons and many children’s shows are filled with images of violence. If you find this hard to believe, surf the TV on Saturday morning. The realism portrayed in today’s cartoons has moved light years beyond the Bugs Bunny type of violence. Many children’s shows almost are animated versions of adult action films. Research shows that exposure to this type of programming increases the risk of aggressive behavior and desensitizes children to violence.
Babies and toddlers have a very literal view of the world. They can’t yet tell the difference between real and pretend, and they interpret what they see on TV as true life. Research has demonstrated that many young children believe that TV characters actually live inside the TV set. This can confuse young children’s understanding of the world and get in the way of their learning what’s right or wrong. It can paint a picture of a frightening, unstable, and bewildering world ¾ and your little one does not yet have the faculties to put what he sees into proper perspective.
Television watching can be addictive. The more that children watch, the more they want to watch. Even toddlers can become drawn to the set. Once addicted, turning off the TV can become a daily battle. Children who watch TV excessively often become passive and lose their natural creativity; they eventually have a hard time keeping themselves busy, and they lose valuable time that should be dedicated to “play” ¾ the foundation of a healthy childhood and the primary way that very young children learn.
Parents sometimes unwittingly begin to use TV more and more as a way to keep their children happy and quiet. It takes a strong will and dedication to avoid the easy route provided by this free and easy ¾ yet sometimes dangerous ¾ babysitter.
Children experience unparalleled physical, mental, and emotional growth in the early years of life. Time spent watching television is time taken away from more healthful activities that nurture growth and development.
Children who watch a lot of television during their early years are at risk for childhood obesity, poor social development, and aggressive behavior. They often have trouble adjusting to preschool or kindergarten. According to a study by Yale Family Television Research, teachers characterized children who watched excessive television as less cooperative, less imaginative, less enthusiastic about learning, and less happy than those who watched little or no TV.
Due to all the above reasons, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that parents not allow children under two to watch any television.
You may have noticed that all of these points demonstrate the negative aspects of letting babies and toddlers watch TV, and you’re wondering if there are any positives. There are a few, but I’ll be honest: I had to be very creative to come up with this list, since published research doesn’t demonstrate many good points for putting a young child in front of a television. But we need to be realistic and acknowledge that most of us aren’t going to put our TVs in the closet until all of our children start school. Here are some of the good points of television for children:
Quality children’s programming can teach your child basic academic skills, such as the ABCs, counting, addition, science fundamentals, basic language skills, manners, and even early reading skills.
Your child can view things she might not otherwise see in daily life: exotic animals, distant lands, musical instruments, historical places, and diverse lifestyles. Your child can learn about the world beyond her home and neighborhood.
Your child can learn basic social skills from watching wholesome programming: how to play with other children, how to use good manners.
Using extraordinarily careful selection and restraint, a little bit of television can provide a parent with much-needed down time, or time to catch up on tasks that need adult-only attention.
TV watching tips for parents of babies and young children
The following tips may help you minimize the negative and maximize the positive effects of television watching for your little one:
Hold off introducing television ¾ even videos ¾ to your baby as long as possible. If you wait until your child’s second birthday, you can consider yourself incredibly successful in starting your little one off well and with the kind of real-life interaction that is so important for his development. If you decide to allow TV before your child turns two, choose programming carefully, limit viewing time and skip days when possible. (Daily viewing easily becomes habit.) The less watching time, the better! Set a goal, such as no more than 30 minutes or an hour per day, or one favorite show, so that you’ll not be tempted to turn the TV on too frequently.
Watch programs yourself before you allow your baby or toddler to watch them. Just because a network markets a show to young children doesn’t mean it will reflect your own family’s morals and values. You will be amazed to discover that many programs aimed at children contain violence or topics that are inappropriate for your child. Don’t assume that your baby can pick out the moral message from a program that features violence or conflict on the way to an important lesson.
Pay attention to commercials ¾ surprisingly, an excellent children’s show will sometimes feature commercials that depict the exact things you don’t want your little one to see!
Choose programs that are developmentally appropriate for your child. For you, this means shows that are slow, boring, and probably somewhat goofy. But choose programs from your child’s perspective, not your own.
Invest in a collection of appropriate and educational videos for your child so that you won’t be confined to network programming schedules when you are ready to let your little one watch something.
Watch along with your child when you can so that you can monitor your child’s reactions to what he’s seeing. Invite questions and discuss what you are watching so that you can understand your little one’s take. Point things out and talk about what is being taught to get the most of out of educational TV. You may even follow up with some lessons afterwards.
Avoid keeping the TV on when no one is actively watching. Many people do this and are used to the background noise the set generates, but your child will almost surely be exposed to programming that is inappropriate for her.
Make a conscious decision about how you will use television in your family; don’t watch it by accident or default.
This article is a copyrighted excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Time to Share!
Hello Again! Welcome back to KIDBIZ, a place to share ideas and resources for early childhood professionals and child care providers. I will be using my blog from now on to share the immense amount of resources and articles I have access to through my position as a child care professional and author. I hope you find them useful in your day! If there is any topic you would like to see information on, please let me know and I'll find it for you.
This first post will contain an article by Elizabeth Pantly, the author of the No-Cry Series of books. I have alot of great information from her and we'll start with this article on Tantrums, Fussing and Whining - something we all deal with everyday!
Be sure to post your comments so I can continue to bring you the type of information you need.
Patricia
Tantrums, Fussing and Whining
from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley
If you ask parents to list the most frustrating discipline problems during early childhood, you would find that these three items appear on every list. All children master their own version of these behaviors – every parent has to deal with them!
Controlling their emotions
Most often these behaviors are caused by a child’s inability to express or control his emotions. Tiredness, hunger, boredom, frustration and other causes that ignite The Big Three can frequently be avoided or modified. When your child begins a meltdown, try to determine if you can tell what underlying issue is causing the problem. Solve that problem and you’ll likely have your sweet child back again.
Handling tantrums, fussing and whining
No matter how diligent you are in recognizing trigger causes, your child will still have meltdown moments. Or even meltdown days. The following tips can help you handle those inevitable bumps in the road. Be flexible and practice those solutions that seem to bring the best results.
Offer choices
You may be able to avoid problems by giving your child more of a say in his life. You can do this by offering choices. Instead of saying, “Get ready for bed right now,” which may provoke a tantrum, offer a choice, “What would you like to do first, put on your pajamas or brush your teeth?” Children who are busy deciding things are often happy.
Get eye-to-eye
When you make a request from a distance your child will likely ignore you. Noncompliance creates stress, which leads to fussing and tantrums – from both of you. Instead, get down to your child’s level, look him in the eye and make clear, concise requests. This will catch his full attention.
Tell him what you DO want
Instead of focusing on misbehavior and what you don’t want him to do, explain exactly what you’d like your child to do or say instead. Give him simple instructions to follow.
Validate his feelings
Help your child identify and understand her emotions. Give words to her feelings, “You’re sad. You want to stay here and play. I know.” This doesn’t mean you must give in to her request, but letting her know that you understand her problem may be enough to help her calm down.
Teach the Quiet Bunny
When children get worked up, their physiological symptoms keep them in an agitated state. You can teach your child how to relax and then use this approach when fussing begins.
You can start each morning or end each day with a brief relaxation session. Have your child sit or lie comfortably with eyes closed. Tell a story that he’s a quiet bunny. Name body parts (feet, legs, tummy, etc.) and have your child wiggle it, and then relax it.
Once your child is familiar with this process you can call upon it at times when he is agitated. Crouch down to your child’s level, put your hands on his shoulders, look him in the eye and say, let’s do our Quiet Bunny. And then talk him through the process. Over time, just mentioning it and asking him to close his eyes will bring relaxation.
Distract and involve
Children can easily be distracted when a new activity is suggested. If your child is whining or fussing try viewing it as an “activity” that your child is engaged in. Since children aren’t very good multi-taskers you might be able to end the unpleasant activity with the recommendation of something different to do.
Invoke his imagination
If a child is upset about something, it can help to vocalize his fantasy of what he wishes would happen: “I bet you wish we could buy every single toy in this store.” This can become a fun game.
Use the preventive approach
Review desired behavior prior to leaving the house, or when entering a public building, or before you begin a playdate. This might prevent the whining or tantrum from even beginning. Put your comments in the positive (tell what you want, not what you don’t want) and be specific.
When it’s over, it’s over
After an episode of misbehavior is finished you can let it go and move on. Don’t feel you must teach a lesson by withholding your approval, love or company. Children bounce right back, and it is okay for you to bounce right back, too.
Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth
This first post will contain an article by Elizabeth Pantly, the author of the No-Cry Series of books. I have alot of great information from her and we'll start with this article on Tantrums, Fussing and Whining - something we all deal with everyday!
Be sure to post your comments so I can continue to bring you the type of information you need.
Patricia
Tantrums, Fussing and Whining
from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley
If you ask parents to list the most frustrating discipline problems during early childhood, you would find that these three items appear on every list. All children master their own version of these behaviors – every parent has to deal with them!
Controlling their emotions
Most often these behaviors are caused by a child’s inability to express or control his emotions. Tiredness, hunger, boredom, frustration and other causes that ignite The Big Three can frequently be avoided or modified. When your child begins a meltdown, try to determine if you can tell what underlying issue is causing the problem. Solve that problem and you’ll likely have your sweet child back again.
Handling tantrums, fussing and whining
No matter how diligent you are in recognizing trigger causes, your child will still have meltdown moments. Or even meltdown days. The following tips can help you handle those inevitable bumps in the road. Be flexible and practice those solutions that seem to bring the best results.
Offer choices
You may be able to avoid problems by giving your child more of a say in his life. You can do this by offering choices. Instead of saying, “Get ready for bed right now,” which may provoke a tantrum, offer a choice, “What would you like to do first, put on your pajamas or brush your teeth?” Children who are busy deciding things are often happy.
Get eye-to-eye
When you make a request from a distance your child will likely ignore you. Noncompliance creates stress, which leads to fussing and tantrums – from both of you. Instead, get down to your child’s level, look him in the eye and make clear, concise requests. This will catch his full attention.
Tell him what you DO want
Instead of focusing on misbehavior and what you don’t want him to do, explain exactly what you’d like your child to do or say instead. Give him simple instructions to follow.
Validate his feelings
Help your child identify and understand her emotions. Give words to her feelings, “You’re sad. You want to stay here and play. I know.” This doesn’t mean you must give in to her request, but letting her know that you understand her problem may be enough to help her calm down.
Teach the Quiet Bunny
When children get worked up, their physiological symptoms keep them in an agitated state. You can teach your child how to relax and then use this approach when fussing begins.
You can start each morning or end each day with a brief relaxation session. Have your child sit or lie comfortably with eyes closed. Tell a story that he’s a quiet bunny. Name body parts (feet, legs, tummy, etc.) and have your child wiggle it, and then relax it.
Once your child is familiar with this process you can call upon it at times when he is agitated. Crouch down to your child’s level, put your hands on his shoulders, look him in the eye and say, let’s do our Quiet Bunny. And then talk him through the process. Over time, just mentioning it and asking him to close his eyes will bring relaxation.
Distract and involve
Children can easily be distracted when a new activity is suggested. If your child is whining or fussing try viewing it as an “activity” that your child is engaged in. Since children aren’t very good multi-taskers you might be able to end the unpleasant activity with the recommendation of something different to do.
Invoke his imagination
If a child is upset about something, it can help to vocalize his fantasy of what he wishes would happen: “I bet you wish we could buy every single toy in this store.” This can become a fun game.
Use the preventive approach
Review desired behavior prior to leaving the house, or when entering a public building, or before you begin a playdate. This might prevent the whining or tantrum from even beginning. Put your comments in the positive (tell what you want, not what you don’t want) and be specific.
When it’s over, it’s over
After an episode of misbehavior is finished you can let it go and move on. Don’t feel you must teach a lesson by withholding your approval, love or company. Children bounce right back, and it is okay for you to bounce right back, too.
Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Balancing Being a Parent and Being A Provider
What's YOUR story? Redleaf Press has asked me to work on a book about the struggles and triumphs of balancing being a parent and being a provider for family child care providers. Having raised two daughters in my daycare, I experienced two extremes. My oldest was so thrilled to be a part of the group that she actually got upset with me whenever I DID try to find special time for her. My youngest was always so jealous of the attention I gave other children that she was forever hanging on me begging for attention, no matter how much special time I made for her!
I'm sure many of you have had your ups and downs with this as well! I'd love to hear your stories and include them in the book. I'd like to get a discussion going here, providers sharing ideas and problems and everyone putting their heads together to find solutions.
I've been trying to do research for this and it's hard to come by - that tells me that it's sorely needed information and makes me really want to get help to providers looking for it.
I look forward to hearing all your comments!
I'm sure many of you have had your ups and downs with this as well! I'd love to hear your stories and include them in the book. I'd like to get a discussion going here, providers sharing ideas and problems and everyone putting their heads together to find solutions.
I've been trying to do research for this and it's hard to come by - that tells me that it's sorely needed information and makes me really want to get help to providers looking for it.
I look forward to hearing all your comments!
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